I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
