4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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