I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize