I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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