i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
