She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I am mentally ready for anal.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
