Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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