How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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