some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
