..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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