I love black thongs
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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