can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
