Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
