Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
