It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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