I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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