i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
