Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
