did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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