Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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