This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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