butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
