It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
only you would photoshop your dick
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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