in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
