At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
