How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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