Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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