found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is my gift to your gina
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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