Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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