u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
