I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
