i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
