We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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