..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize