Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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