It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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