real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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