there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
