His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
