I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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