I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
