You work out of a Hotel?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
