Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
