my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
