dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
