I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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