Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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