Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
