So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
