we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
