Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize