I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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