That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
