Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
