I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
