Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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