I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
