were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize