Midget sex pt 2 tonight
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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