I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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