i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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