i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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