No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
