she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
