There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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