Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
