she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
