Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
