I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
