I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
