Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
