No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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